See you in 2022

1/10/2022 Update: One last update on this post before I put it to bed and move onto to new posts. Mom came home from the nursing home on January 3. She left a little earlier than planned but her mental health was such that she needed to get home. I also feel like with the continuing bad covid situation, we made the right choice.

Mom has been improving every day. She still gets tired easily and is definitely not back to 100% but she is able to move around the apartment no problem. Bella, our puppy, was scared when she came back home in the wheelchair (Bella doesn’t like moving furniture) but I’m happy to report things are back to normal on that front now too. Bella is very happy to be part of a two person household once more and has resumed jumping on Mom at inopportune moments just like before.

Thank you again to everyone who checked on me and my mom and Bella during a very rough December. Thank you again to everyone who kept us in your thoughts. I always knew I had the best blog readers and social media followers but this confirmed it, I have been so grateful and so humbled to have so many people in my corner. Thank you.

12/23 update: I’m writing this update with a lonely puppy in my lap. Bella looks for Mom around the apartment every morning. After we went for a walk she ran back to search for my mom to no avail.

Mom was transferred from the hospital to a rehabilitation facility (a nursing home with short stay options) last night. I’m really glad she’s out of the hospital as covid cases continue to rise. Have you ever seen a zombie movie where everything is fine, then the news starts talking about weird headlines, then suddenly you’re in the middle of a zombie apocalypse? Being at the hospital feels a lot like that right now.

In retrospect, as ominous as it felt I’m glad Mom had a lot of contact protocols in place. I had to be in a gown, rubber gloves, and a mask the entire time I visited her. Which is so scary. But hopefully kept her from being exposed to other stuff.

The rehab place feels so much better and safer. I didn’t even realize how scared I was having her in the hospital right now.

Mom’s slowly trying to eat again and she’ll be getting physical therapy at this new place to get her strength back. We’re still taking it one day at a time and trying not to dwell too hard on missing Christmas. I am also trying to take care of myself and get rest so that I don’t make myself sick while being there for Mom.

The double whammy of this happening during the holidays and a pandemic has been unreal.

Honestly, I’m not going to make any pleas to anyone to get vaccinated or wear a mask. If you aren’t doing those two incredibly small things to protect yourself and others, I have nothing left to say to you. I have no sympathy left for anyone leaving their job over vaccine mandates and no patience for anyone acting like the pandemic is in any way over.

I’ll close with a thank you (again) to everyone who has been checking on me, showing up for me, and being there for me (and sending Seamless gift cards). It still feels like a long road but it doesn’t feel like it’s all up hill anymore.

12/19 Update: I have an update and I thought id add it here for anyone who might be following. Mom isn’t going to be home for Christmas.

She was admitted to the ER Thursday after falling twice at home and being very sick and dehydrated. We have since found out she has rotavirus. No idea where she got it.

The main treatment for rotavirus is to let it run its course but it’s wreaked such havoc on my mom’s entire system. She hasn’t been eating since Thursday and she’s extremely weak. Aside from not starting at 100% (I suspect the hospital doesn’t fully understand how she navigated the world before as an elderly/disabled person but that’s a different story).

Right now she can’t get out of bed and she’s still on fluids and they’re trying to figure out what she can eat without aggravating her symptoms. She has some IVs for electrolytes and fluids too but it’s sort of a wait and see stage I think.

The doctors are saying maybe two weeks. But I think a lot depends on how she continues to respond to fluids etc.

Thank you to everyone who has checked in or offered well wishes. This isn’t the first holiday I’ve spend worrying about my mom in the hospital but I sure hope it’s the last.

It’s especially scary right now with covid cases on the rise. All I ever want in situations like this is to not be alone. But I can’t even ask that of anyone right now because I’m exposed to so much stuff every time I go into the hospital.

Part of the protocol for rotavirus involves having a gown and gloves on the entire time I’m with my mom in her room–same for anyone else going in–so it’s been extra fun. I just dropped $50 on disposable face masks and N95 masks and I’m just really hoping we get out on the other side of this soon.

12/16: I’m putting the blog on hiatus until the new year. This post started shorter while I decided what I was comfortable sharing but I decided I didn’t want to talk around it.

Partly this is because I was sick for three weeks after thanksgiving and that burned through my entire queue of written posts. So I need more content. But then something else happened.

My mom is in the hospital. She fell and was in bad shape with symptoms presenting as sepsis. Her numbers are improving but it’s an as yet unidentified infection. Longtime followers will know this isn’t my mother’s first serious hospitalization.

I don’t think it’s as bad as her previous ones. Her numbers are improving but she’s very weak and has a fever. So it’s hard to feel like things are moving in the right direction. Im not even sure if they are honestly. And I’m not taking it as well. I was hysterical and had a massive panic attack when I called 911. I’m still waiting to find some kind of baseline. But I don’t know how to do that.

Being in a hospital in the middle of a pandemic is a nightmare. I’m writing this in my mom’s room while she sleeps. I’m in a face mask and a gown because they’re still isolating the source of the infection. You know, on top of worrying about covid in the hospital.

I don’t really have a grand statement here. I’m grateful to all of my friends who have been checking in and helping me make sure my puppy Bella is okay. But it’s still exhausting and I still feel so isolated and lost and scared.

If you have any space for it, please keep my mom in your thoughts and I’ll be back in 2022.