I’ve written before about hair back in 2008 when I had short hair. Shortly after that post I started library school and decided I wanted a change so I let my hair grow out.
This past weekend I cut it again.
And now I’m going to use the extra bits to make hair jewelery.
Kidding. I actually have a creepy detached hair ponytail on my desk because I always, always donate my hair to Locks of Love when I cut it.* I’ve gone from a twelve inch mane to a pixie cut. And maybe for the first time ever, there was no shock or adjustment. I’m increasingly certain this is really the hair I was meant to have no matter how many pretty barrettes I buy.
A few years ago I was friends with a guy who had really long hair, like longer than mine in that picture. Then he decided to cut it all off and shave his head. It seemed insane since he clearly put a lot of effort into growing the hair–especially since it’s so much more of a concerted decision for a man to have long hair–so I asked him why he wanted to cut it. He told me the hair had negative energy and he wanted to get rid of it.
Part of me wishes we were still speaking because I want to tell him I get that now. More than I did then.**
In some ways cutting my hair was a sudden decision. Last Friday I was lying in bed with my hair getting tangled and I thought to myself, I could cut it. By Saturday night my mom had helped me cut it all off.*** But it was also the perfect time; I needed a change, the year is almost over and it’s time to start fresh.
It sounds silly but my truest vision/perception of myself always has short hair. I was enjoying the long hair, but I am loving the short hair. It’s wash and go. It’s lighter (my hair is really thick and heavy). I can wear hats without worrying about fitting my hairstyle under it.
I just feel prettier with it and more “rock and roll” if anyone even knows what I mean by that.
I used to have goals with long hair. Like I’d let it grow and say, I want it to be really long. Or I’m going to braid it. This last time I worked at wearing my hair down more often. I’m starting to think hair isn’t really something that should require specific goals to sustain. (Although I am going to try to mix up things with my very short hair with little barrettes and stuff this time around.) I was glad to graduate from library school with long hair (because I looked ridiculous in that mortar cap with short hair as an undergrad) but I think the short hair is really the right choice for me.
And it’s silly, but with so much flux all around, it’s nice to at least have my perfect hairstyle figured out.****
*Locks of Love accepts donated hair to make wigs for children who have lost their hair while undergoing chemo. It’s a great cause that literally involves doing nothing. Hair donation also plays a big part in my “hair cycle” because I never cut it before it’s long enough to donate (ten inches) and I tend to let it grow with the expectation that I will eventually cut it.
**I actually had long hair when I knew this guy. And decided to cut my hair shortly after. He wasn’t amused telling me that I shouldn’t cut my hair since girls should have long hair. So part of me isn’t that sorry or surprised that we grew apart.
***Fun Fact: My mom always cuts my hair. With this. No, seriously.
****Today was the first day I went to work with my new haircut. And the first time I’ve cut my hair at the same shop since I’ve started working with the public. It was funny because a lot of patrons (some of whom I don’t really know that well) noticed my haircut and were complimenting me on it. One said it brought out my eyes and that I had great hair. Others gave me searching looks before finally asking if I had cut my hair and saying it looked nice upon receiving confirmation.