On making small talk with patrons

NEVER EVER DO THIS. If the question goes beyond asking about a book or the weather save yourself some grief and do not engage. What seems like a polite way to make conversation will most likely backfire horribly.

(Retro) Case in point (from June 2007):

Should a patron begin talking about their impending wedding, just nod politely. Do not speak. And when they come back DO NOT EVER ask how the wedding was. I had thought it was being polite, but it was a horrible, bad mistake.

Over the course of a painful and embarrassing conversation I would learn that this woman’s honeymoon was canceled, and that the wedding could end in divorce or annulment since the marriage was not yet consummated. Much more than I needed to know about anyone.

(Current) Case in point:

Miss Print (to child with his father while checking out The Legend of Sleepy Hollow): “Ready for Halloween?”

Child: *nod*

Miss Print: “What’s your costume?”

Child: “A drunk.”

Miss Print: “Oh. Wow. . . .” [While father smiles awkwardly like this has happened before.]

One thought on “On making small talk with patrons

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