It’s all about the costumes (and the candy)

Not too many costumes today because almost everyone I work with is LAME and did not dress up. I did. I got mad compliments. Point: If you don’t dress up you don’t get any compliments.

But this post isn’t about my costume because my costume was exactly the same as my costume last year (minus one cat). Rather I wanted to draw attention to what I think might be the best costume I saw this year, and I did watch the Greenwich Village Halloween Parade on TV so I saw a lot of costumes.

Anyway, I was walking to work when I saw a man on the corner walking toward me. He was wearing a brown suit with a shirt and tie. He also had thick-framed glasses. That’s not the best part. As we got closer I noticed that his shirt was open and his tie loosened. Underneath his shirt he had a Superman costume. I walked past Clark Kent (and not the moron Clark Kent from TV’s Smallville either, no this guy could have been the real deal). My favorite part was that the Superhero costume looked legit and the suit did too, like not a store-bought costume. So, if the Clark Kent I saw on Eighth Avenue at around 1:30 PM ever sees this, know that your costume was pretty cool. Unless you really were Clark Kent, then I just hope the heroics you were on your way to worked out.

On making small talk with patrons

NEVER EVER DO THIS. If the question goes beyond asking about a book or the weather save yourself some grief and do not engage. What seems like a polite way to make conversation will most likely backfire horribly.

(Retro) Case in point (from June 2007):

Should a patron begin talking about their impending wedding, just nod politely. Do not speak. And when they come back DO NOT EVER ask how the wedding was. I had thought it was being polite, but it was a horrible, bad mistake.

Over the course of a painful and embarrassing conversation I would learn that this woman’s honeymoon was canceled, and that the wedding could end in divorce or annulment since the marriage was not yet consummated. Much more than I needed to know about anyone.

(Current) Case in point:

Miss Print (to child with his father while checking out The Legend of Sleepy Hollow): “Ready for Halloween?”

Child: *nod*

Miss Print: “What’s your costume?”

Child: “A drunk.”

Miss Print: “Oh. Wow. . . .” [While father smiles awkwardly like this has happened before.]