This week has been so incredibly long. For a lot of reasons, not the least of which being that my feet are in agony (new shoes are kind of evil). But I’m over it and I’m moving on. Because I realized something today: If I’m not having fun, something is wrong.
My canvas stopped being fun at some point between the end of last week and the middle of this one. That’s when I realized it was more work than a really exciting thing. Today I realized that “Julie” was right. Painting Cornflower (the Pegasus) is supposed to be a fun/mellow thing and a way to leave my mark in the children’s room. It doesn’t matter who’s looks more complex, or who’s gets more reaction from the kids. It doesn’t even matter who finishes first. It’s just supposed to be fun. And, much as it kills me to admit it, “Ralph” is right too. It’s a process. It doesn’t matter if the finished product looks like the initial plan or not.
So I’m over it. I’m letting go of all of the things that have been making me mad or frustrated or just tired. And I’m moving on. I’m going to do the best I can in all endeavors and that is all anyone can ask of me. I can’t do more than that.
As of right now, the plan for the canvas is foam core clouds that bump out from the sides of the canvas and will be covered with the cotton I have been unwinding. I’m not even angry about that anymore, because the foam core looks really good with the cotton. Yes, it’s a lot of work. But it will be worth it. And probably I won’t be finished until the end of next week because cutting foam core is surprisingly complex, but that’s okay too. Because I’m almost done and now it won’t be a chore to finish.
I’m applying the same philosophy to school and life in general. I feel lighter and more zen. All is as right in the world as I can make it. Everything else will be fine. It’s a new start and there are so many things to look forward to.