Work on Thursday around 10:30 am (it was an eventful morning), a very old patron came in. My best guess is he was around 75. Short, little old man, bald and wearing a leather bomber jacket that stood out from his form because he was tiny. Given the rest of this post, it’s important I say now that he was harmless and very nice. Just so we’re clear on that point right away. He came in to return a book . . .
Miss Print: “This item was overdue. You owe a total of three dollars and thirty cents.”
Patron: “What?! I only checked it out because they told me there would be pictures. But there weren’t any pictures. I wouldn’t have even checked it out if I knew that. I can’t even read.”
Miss Print: Shrug
Patron: “I only wanted pictures of pretty girls. Do you have any pictures of yourself?”
Miss Print: “Not on me.”
Patron: “I’m harmless, really. How much do I owe?”
Miss Print: “Three dollars and thirty cents.”
Patron: “Can I go double or nothing?”
Miss Print: “We don’t really do that.”
Patron: “Okay, okay. Can I give you thirty pennies?”
Miss Print: “Sure.”
Patron proceeds to put three dimes and two dollars on the desk.
Miss Print: “You actually owe three dollars and thirty cents. That’s two dollars and thirty cents.”
Patron: “Oh. I didn’t know you could count.”
Puts another dollar on the desk.
Miss Print: “I know all sorts of things.”
Exit old patron after saying he hoped my next customer would be easier to deal with. Sometimes it’s nice to have the last word.
Miss Print 