Getting the last word

Work on Thursday around 10:30 am (it was an eventful morning), a very old patron came in. My best guess is he was around 75. Short, little old man, bald and wearing a leather bomber jacket that stood out from his form because he was tiny. Given the rest of this post, it’s important I say now that he was harmless and very nice. Just so we’re clear on that point right away. He came in to return a book . . .

Miss Print: “This item was overdue. You owe a total of three dollars and thirty cents.”

Patron: “What?! I only checked it out because they told me there would be pictures. But there weren’t any pictures. I wouldn’t have even checked it out if I knew that. I can’t even read.”

Miss Print: Shrug

Patron: “I only wanted pictures of pretty girls. Do you have any pictures of yourself?”

Miss Print: “Not on me.”

Patron: “I’m harmless, really. How much do I owe?”

Miss Print: “Three dollars and thirty cents.”

Patron: “Can I go double or nothing?”

Miss Print: “We don’t really do that.”

Patron: “Okay, okay. Can I give you thirty pennies?”

Miss Print: “Sure.”

Patron proceeds to put three dimes and two dollars on the desk.

Miss Print: “You actually owe three dollars and thirty cents. That’s two dollars and thirty cents.”

Patron: “Oh. I didn’t know you could count.”

Puts another dollar on the desk.

Miss Print: “I know all sorts of things.”

Exit old patron after saying he hoped my next customer would be easier to deal with. Sometimes it’s nice to have the last word.